Yeah, I know, I know, it doesn’t make much sense to do this “new year’s resolution” thing and bla bla bla, but one has to pick landmarks to measure the flowing of time, and a new year is as good a tool as any.
I’m getting older, approaching the age when I’ll have all the answers (I’m turning 42 this year), and it’s nice to finally have Darth Vader’s age on top of the attitude, but that’s not the point.
Last year has been tough. With my grandmother’s departure (January, 19th last year), and some troubles left in her wake, what I want to do this year is fairly simple, and it’s more. On that, I have no doubt.
I want to go more to the movies and more to the theatre, see more concerts, opera and ballet, keep writing my fiction project, listen to more music in my house and go to the pub with outrageously big books to read. And they’re not going to be the motivational shit you see on LinkedIn these days — no, sir — they’re going to be… well, you can go and browse my “to-read” list on Goodreads. I’ve got The Shipwright and the Shroudweaver, and of course I’ll continue my re-reading of Dune, I want to keep reading Monstress, and I need to grab a copy of Oyinkan Braithwaite’s Cursed Daughters, I have Cixin Liu’s Death’s End waiting for me (following the great Three-Body Problem and the even more astonishing The Dark Forest), and then a ton of Asimov, and I don’t know what else. I can’t wait.
I also have a couple of videogames I want to play, but mostly I’m waiting for Moomintroll: Winter’s Warmth. After the charming Tales of the Shire and Winter Burrow (I should really blog about them and you should play them), I’m in a cosy mood.
Anyway, this is not the main point.
The point is that this year I have to figure out for real if I want to do the easy thing or the good thing.
The easy thing is to stay as I am. Keep working enough to do all the listed things above, plus some travelling, plus buying the new Hobbit card games coming out this summer, and be content. I would be content. It is nice and, well, cosy. I can keep profiting from what I have, which might also mean being a little less generous with some of my assets. It’s tempting. Believe me, it’s tempting.
Now, the good thing would mean risking some of this security and putting myself back out there for real. I have a project that I think might do some good. It would be quite the endeavour, time-consuming and risky. Do I have the resources and the strength? Yes, I think so. But do I want to? That’s the real question.
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